How I am Finding Life in Uganda

There are some things I’ve noticed that just work differently here in Uganda…
When traveling there are no fast food restaurants to eat at; instead, you pull over on the side of the road and buy chicken on a stick and/or whatever else they are trying to shove in your window.
When taking a bus from one place to another, it doesn’t stop at gas stations for toilet breaks; instead it pulls over at the side of the road and folks just get off and take care of things there.
Traffic laws are more like guidelines.
…except that the bigger object gets the right of way (i.e. a bicycle over a pedestrian or a truck over an SUV)
Remember to get toilet paper from the dispenser on the wall outside of the stall before going inside the stall.
Expect to hear “Mzungu! Mzungu!...” many times when leaving the compound.
Locking the door is a 3 minute process. Deadbolts? No. We use 3 hefty masterlocks. Slam the mini hand door shut and shove 2 iron latches into place using all our might then lock each. Unlocking it can be longer, depending on how long it takes to find the keys and then match them to the correct lock. This is a loud, long, strenuous process.
Greetings are important. A greeting can last 30 minutes. How is you? How is the day? What do you go by? How is your family? Where are you coming from? What are you doing in Uganda? How are you finding Uganda? You are most welcome here. How long have you been? You shall extend your stay? Where are you going just now? I shall escort you. To Africans, this is friendly... not at all sketchy.
Even government buildings can be dark and sketchy. There may only be a sign above the door at the end of a dark hallway that merely says, "Immigration Services"
African English uses more present tense verbs where they don’t really seem to fit. Example: “Are you having any room?” instead of “Are there any rooms available?” or “Are you knowing?” instead of “Do you know?”
In Mbale eating out is a 2 hour process, at least. Yes, even for beans and rice.
Don’t have high expectations. For example, don’t expect to have power so that when you do it is a pleasant surprise. Or, don’t expect the store to have something so that when you get there and they say “It is finished” (“We’re out of that”) there is no let down.
Everything takes longer here. Everything.
Instead of security systems, there will be a person sitting outside the door with a big machine gun. If it’s a really nice place, there may be more guards stationed throughout the store with batons.
Machetes are used to cut the grass.
Thus, seeing huge guns and machetes everywhere daily is no longer surprising.
Imported American cereal costs around $7, if not more.
To do laundry you must factor in weather, power, and time. Is the power on so that I can wash? When does it seem like it’s going to rain today so I can be sure to take my clothes off the line? Even just filling the water in the machine takes a while. It’s kinda like a whole day process.
Make sure the water filter is always full and that the filtered water container stays full.
Going to the mall, movies, and grocery store in Kampala is really exciting.
Make sure to have a flashlight nearby at night. Also, use one when walking from the light switch to the bed at night so that I can get my mosquito net tucked and placed just right.
Planning to go out to dinner involves many plans to make sure we’re not out when it’s dark without a ride.
When going into the bathroom, watch out for frogs. When opening doors, watch out for falling geckos. Also look out for jumping spiders, spiders, roaches, and bugs of all sorts. There is always something crawling on the wall or flying around the room. If it’s big, assume it’s a gecko (or at least hope so).
If you have a fear of bugs, get over it and smash them, esp. mosquitoes.
My roommates and I are so used to not having T.V. that even when we do, we sit and talk or sit in silence staring at a blank screen.
Exchanging money through a barred window in a shop run by Indians that sells… ? (tin or eighteen other things) is no longer shady. It’s normal. And, when the exchange rate goes up, the whole team gets an SMS (text message).
Our team communicates more through text messaging than any other form when not physically together.
Movies purchased in Uganda are bootleg. Despite selling bootleg copies everywhere, the guard at the door of the movie theatre has to take any cameras and store them in another room while you watch a movie. And, even the bootleg copies have a little blip about piracy sometimes…?
Bicycles can be used to transport anything. Need to get a stack of 10 mattresses somewhere? Need to transport a tank (or 3) or petrol? Need to transport a coffin? A family of 4? Yep… anything.
Life works at a different pace in Africa. Slower.
The phrases “That’s so African” or “This is Africa” make complete sense to me and I say them daily, at times multiple times within one day.
“You (Westerners) have watches, but you have no time.”
Uganda is indescribably beautiful. God often reminds me when I look out my window just how awesome He is. I look at the mountains or the greenery or the bright blue sky and think, “I can’t believe I live here.” More often than not, the beauty of the land and the beauty of the people make the above differences feel more like an adventure than an annoyance or inconvenience. It’s not better one way or another; it’s just different. As you can see, I’m adjusting more to the culture here… or at least, learning better how to function in it.